Lincoln’s Obituary

Dear Hoomans, If you are reading this, you know that I have crossed the rainbow bridge…gone belly up…walked my last walk…eaten my last bone…licked my last hooman…barked my last bark…kicked the bucket…died. Now I’m enjoying life with my old friends, Milo, Chester & Oakley, while Calvin looks off into the distance still refusing to join in on the fun. I enjoyed all 14 years of my life on this earth, even when Moms brought home two baby hooman brothers for me. I am going to miss my family greatly, just as I know they are going to miss me, especially at dinner time when I would loudly beg for their plates of food. I’m going to miss running through the vineyard terrorizing all the trespassers that weren’t my family members, and I will absolutely miss sleeping on the couch, the bed, going to Tahoe to dig in the sand and run in the snow. Luckily, the great thing about death is that I no longer feel pain, and this huge lipoma (who I named Thor) is no longer cramping my style. I feel great now! And forewarning for anyone who lives near my grandparents’ property: If they spread my ashes on a windy day, you might get a piece of me in your mouth that will remain with you furever. It’s ok though. And for my family, I promise to send you another puppy in the near future that won’t take my place, but will be a great addition to our family. I love you greatly! -Lincoln